Posts Tagged 'social media bores'

Golden Crocoduck fever grips Talk Normal

Why post this clip? Because Sunday is a very important day for Talknormalists: it’s the day on which the annual Golden Crocoduck Award is announced. This is given by Peter Hadfield, also known as potholer54, to the creationist who offers the most flagrant breach of the 9th commandment: “the one that tells you not to tell fibs” as he explains.  The award is given every year on 28 October – the feast day of St Jude Thaddeus, the Patron Saint of Lost Causes. It’s too late for you to vote; but please check out the nominees in the video above (one of whom actually tries to convince viewers that the earth must be stationary because when we jump we land in the same place), and then the rest of his channel.

In the summer of 2006 I was asked to go on the BBC News 24 (now BBC news channel) to have a middle-aged-manchat with Peter Sissons about why there was this thing called YouTube which was becoming really popular with da kidz.  Why, he asked me, would people want to go to a web site to watch a fireman in a tumble dryer?  – he really did ask this – especially when there’s real TV on 24 hours a day, with politicians and experts standing outside buildings and stuff (he didn’t say this. I deduced it from the height of his eyebrows when he was watching the fireman video).

Get with it daddio! I sort of said – I was living in Hoxton, on the doorstep of London’s famous Silicon Roundabout, and we all spoke like that, even those of us who were old enough to know better – da peeps need to express themselves! This is the social media equivalent of the “everyone’s got a book in them” argument. It says that everyone has got a YouTube video inside them, waiting to get out: just maybe not a very good one.

So six years later I’m all for YouTube in principle, it’s just that much of it is total crap. I’m not talking about bands I don’t like or people I disagree with. There’s a ton of that on TV too. But watching the peeps express themselves on subjects such as why the earth is the centre of the universe, or how we know dinosaurs lived on earth alongside humans, can be quite disheartening. There’s eight years of material uploaded to YouTube every day. Much of it, it appears, is uploaded by people who were asleep in science lessons, aren’t really interested in looking up the answers, but still think we need to hear their half-formed ideas. Alternatively, they simply repost something by someone they decided to agree with, without stopping to think why they might learn something by checking whether it’s true.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell which bits are the worst, but luckily we have potholer54 to help us decide. If you have any interest in using logic and curiosity as a way to debunk pseudoscience, creationism and the denial of our role in global warming, he’s an excellent guide.

His videos are short (usually between 10 and 15 minutes), expertly researched with all sources listed, and very, very funny. It’s a great way to learn if ever you want to explain why there isn’t evidence for a global flood, or why Lord Christopher Monckton, the UK’s embarrassing denier of man-made climate change, is misinformed and wrong. The Monckton takedown starts here and ends (for now) here.

It’s hard to pick a favourite from his channel, but I always enjoy Hadfield’s demolition of American talk show host Bill O’Reilly:

Unlike most of his fellow ignoramuses on YouTube, O’Reilly is “paid to broadcast his ignorance to millions of people” (Hadfield’s description) via Sissons-era TV. This is one of the best arguments in favour of YouTube: without it we’d have a lot less potholer54, but the same amount of Bill O’Reilly.

The thoughts of chairman Tim (part 3)

In the final part of our guide to Talk Normal and Talknormalisation, how jargon has infected the media, why social media isn’t always a good thing, and tips for better writing. Ease yourself into the weekend, as local radio DJs say, by listening to it:

Again, if you’re a subscriber, you will need to visit the site. Hope you’ve enjoyed the podcasts. I’ve got another recorded interview for you next week, but someone else will be answering the questions. That, for some of you, might be a relief.

The thoughts of chairman Tim (part 2)

More from Talk Normal’s chief solutions advocate (that’s me): in this podcast we talk about HR jargon, CSR, thought leadership and other rubbish you hear at work. Stick in the headphones during your lunch hour and let us take you to a better place.

Eighteen minutes of joy. Note: subscribers – you’ll have to visit the site to listen, but it’s worth it.

The thoughts of chairman Tim (part 1)

All go at Talk Normal headquarters. My publisher has created three podcasts about Talknormalism, the problems that jargon causes, and what we can do to solve them. I’ll add the other two parts in the next few days. Here’s part one:

Maybe you can listen to it while you’re on mute in a conference call.

i no your gunna like dis

Thanks to talknormalist The Finch for this page of Facebook spelling and grammar errors, and the excellent putdowns that result. The moral: time spent spellchecking is time well spent. Another moral: Facebook friends are not always your friends.

Nagging: someone must do something

 

If you haven't watched all 1001 of them, you clearly deserve to die anyway

During the UK general election, and afterwards, I thought I was reading an unusual number of comment articles telling David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Gordon Brown that they “must” do something. Once I’d spotted it, I couldn’t stop noticing that all of us are constantly being told what we must learn, deliver or promise. Governments were most often the recipients of this nagging, as were religions, and for less specific nags, “we” are constantly being told by columnists what we must do. And I haven’t even got to the things we must not do yet.

I checked to see if there was an increase in newspaper-based nagging. In British newspapers between 1990 and 1998, the frequency of headlines telling us we “must” do something declined gradually:

Then it started a long, steep climb. Now nags are twice as frequent as they were in 1998:

We must find out why. Someone must take the blame for this. Something must be done. Not that it will be: newspapers run many more opinion pieces than they did in 1998. They use them to attract commenters, which creates advertising revenue. Telling a person or group what to do is a quick way to start an argument and, in this context, all arguments are good.

Alternatively, as we become less patient and increasingly self-obsessed, we can just forget the column underneath the headline (most of us do that already) and personalise the experience. You could sign up to a genuine Daily Me, written by robot columnists, which is just a series of nagging headlines inspired by the newspaper we really care about: our Facebook wall posts.

MEDICS: FRIENDS OF PHILLIPS “MUST TAKE IBUPROFEN” IN BID TO ASSUAGE HANGOVERS

TALK NORMAL MUST BE UPDATED OR FACE OBLIVION

WIFE’S SECRET CHOCOLATE MUST NOT BE CONSUMED WHILE SHE IS AT WORK, SAY RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS

That’s much more useful than telling me that I must not let slip the opportunity to provide a legacy from the 2012 Olympics. I live next door to the stadium, but I’m pretty sure it’s not me they should be nagging.

Meanwhile columnists are free to tell all sorts of groups what they must do in the certain knowledge that their instructions will be ignored. They are lucky that no one has decided yet that bossy opinion columnists must be paid by results, because they might as well write an article telling ice cream it must not melt.


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